Monthly Archives: May 2007

Govt. of India earns from Men and spends on Women

Govt. of India earns from Men and spends on Women

1. Government of India collects MOST OF ITS taxes from men – for men are the ones who are still EMPLOYED IN GREATER NUMBERS IN THE ORGANISED SECTOR, where bulk of the taxes are collected !!!!

2. Still Govt. of India spends HARDLY ANYTHING ON MEN welfare

3. The government spends a lot on women and child welfare

4. There is a separate Arm of the Govt. of India for women and child welfare

5. Men are left high and dry …ALMOST ….

6. I am NOT against women welfare ” …. BUT WHY NOT MEN’s WELFARE as well ? …”, is my humble question

>BSNL Bangalore website includes a “Helpline”

>in which there are tel. nos. of Women’s

>organization and Children’s home, NOT SIF.

>

>Senior members, please take some initiatives

>to request the BSNL Bangalore to put SIF help

>line as well.

7. Most Telephone service providers have been asked to allocate incoming free, rent free !! telephone lines for women in every major town, city and metro !!!

8. So this IS the case NOT just in Bangalore BUT AS WELL in every state capital, second level cities and even smaller towns

GENDER SENSITIZATION

9. The challenge is the make men NOT HIT BY 498A, realise the seriousness of the FALSE 498A and DV act threat

10. This includes a majority of our ministers and MPs and MLAs to say the least !!!!

11. While women have united and rallied for their rights, men are yet to do so and get hit by a multitude of Wife biased laws like the DV act

Regards

Vinayak

regards, vinayak

My post above is Subject to

—————————-

1. My idea of *self help* which is very essential : http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz

2. Standard disclaimers as in http://tinyurl.com/947u9

3. A short preamble : http://tinyurl.com/hatew

>

>BSNL-SIF Bangalore Helpline

>Wed May 30, 2007 3:59 am (PST)

>

>Friends

>

>BSNL Bangalore website includes a “Helpline”

>in which there are tel. nos. of Women’s

>organization and Children’s home, NOT SIF.

>

>Senior members, please take some initiatives

>to request the BSNL Bangalore to put SIF help

>line as well.

>

>This is very much needed as like other help

>lines.

>

>Regards

Advice Please – 1

Advice Please – _____ (Harassed Hubby) – _____ , India

498A Date: __/___ /2007
Any Other IPCs: 323, 504 IPC and 3/4 D.P. Act
Relatives Accused: Whole family plus my wife’s mause and mausa
Jailed Days: NO
Stage of Case: negotiation
Spent Money on 498A: 60,000/-
Lived in joint Family: YES
Marriage Date: ___/___/2004
Wife Age: 28
Wife’s Education Level: studying
Wife works (earns)?: doesNotWork
Filed for Divorce: NO
Have children: YES
Living With Wife: NO
Negotiating with Wife: NO
Took her Stridhan Back: YES
She had Any Medical Problems: NO
Willing to Help other Victims: YES
Ready for TV/Press Interivew : YES
Contact No:
Comments:

Hi, am _____ aged 31 and my wife 28, have a son 1½ yrs old! my marriage completed 3+ years; out of which we are separated for 1½ yrs now.

I got married on___/___/2004; problems started arising immediately after due to all the reasons many of which are already mentioned in various cases posted on your site (You have 26 reasons of common causes for marital strife in your report “A COMPREHENSIVE REPORT ON THE MISUSE OF ANTI-DOWRY LAWS IN MARITAL DISPUTES”, 16 are applicable in my case)!

On __/ Mid /2005 our son was born!

On End 2005, she left my house with her cousin and maternal uncle, only to return on Early ___ 2006, just for Two / three weeks, that too when I 100% compromised from my side single handedly!

All my thoughts/ compromise, everything shattered in just Two / three weeks when her uncle (chacha) took her away on ___ March 2006, making me and my family, swallow every ounce of bloodied stomach acid he and his niece had.

I knew she never cared for me, but I became restless when I came to know that she has left my 1½ year old son, like an orphan, with her mother, in _____(UP), and left for ______ (a city in another state) to do MBA!

I made all possible social attempts to have them back or atleast have my son back, to look after him; he was neither getting father nor mother! When all my social attempts failed, I went to court and filed two cases:

1) U/s 9, Hindu Marriage Act, dated Dec ____ 2006, for restoration of conjugal rights!

2) U/s 25, Wards & Guardianship Act, dated Dec ___ /2006, to get my son’s custody!

On this my in-laws started threatening me of dire consequences if I do not take back these cases! Instead of coming under their pressure I filed a complaint:

3) Complaint on
Jan ___ 2007, to DM (___City in UP),
IG (______ City in UP Zone),
SSP (______ City in UP),
SO (P.S. ______, ______ City in UP),
regarding the threats being given to me!

When none of the authorities considered my application worth reacting, I filed another case:

4) U/s 420, 406, 504, 506 IPC, dated February _____ 2007!

And as a result I came to know that on March ____ 2007 an FIR No. _____ (P.S. _____ Nagar, ______ City in UP) has been filed against me and my family u/s 498A, 323, 504 IPC and 3/4 D.P. Act.

Here, it is pertinent to mention that the list of accused include 10 persons; me, my father & mother, my two married sisters and their husbands, my younger brother and MY WIFE’S REAL MAUSI AND MAUSA (her mother’s real sister and her husband); I know they do not share cordial relations but fail to understand how can they be framed in dowry case?

I approached _______ (The state’s) High Court, got arrest stayed for 7 out of10 accused, but court denied mine and my parents’.

On ____ April 2007 I took back my cases as the result of the so called compromise reached with my in-laws (just the compulsion was to avoid my parents being harassed)!

I also agreed to pay them money they asked for!

This gives me the realization as to how one feels when you have to kiss a person who has his feet on your throat!

Final Report is being placed in the FIR as so called compromise is reached! It is yet to be accepted by court!

Please advise what course of action I should take to get rid of my wife!

New Victim questions

Dear Sir / Madam

In case you have been or are about to be charged with a FALSE dowry case, Please take a few minutes to fill in this questionnaire and return the same to me

This forum is meant for victims of Dowry Law misuse. Vengeful women with a view to malign their in laws have instigated 1000s of false DOWRY cases. Innocent parents, elderly women (mothers in law), sisters and relatives have been falsely charged under these cases. 1000s of families are stuck with FALSE cases filed under section 498A of Indian Penal code. This forum is a meeting place for such victims.

IF YOU ARE VICTIM OF FALSE DOWRY CASES, you are welcome to this group / message board.

!!!!Do NOT POST REPLIES HERE !!!!!!

Please fill in this questionnaire and mail replies to:
Address 1 or Address 2

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Brief Personal Data

1. Name (Assumed name is fine for privacy):

2. E-mail address (must be reachable, authentic):

3. Contact numbers [if you wish to give them]:

4. Location (NRI, please identify country. NO other detail required at this stage):

5. Willing to be contact for other victims (We have effective self help groups at some locations. local people may call you) (Yes/No):

Brief case history and family data

6. Was yours a joint family (parents or any other family member lived together):

7. Do you have kids (how many, their age when she left and filed 498a):

8. Are you Still negotiating or talking with wife or her relatives (Yes/No):

9. 498a / dowry case registered (Yes/No), if yes, please provide month and year :
– Month + year of filing :
– Place of filing 498A :
– Present status : Is the FIR filed ? have you taken anticipatory bail etc ?
– People accused [more details sought below] :

10. 498a registered at the place of residence or at in-laws place:

10.1. Have you checked the validity of Jurisdiction when the 498a case was filed ? :

Please ref. this case for understanding Jurisdiction
Y. Abraham Ajith & Ors. Vs Inspector of Police, Chennai & Anr.

11. Have You or anyone named in 498a spent time in jail (who, how many days):

12. Number, list of people other than family members named in the 498a [because there have been some strange cases life this !!] :

13. Are any aged people named in the FIR ? Are any remote relatives named in the FIR ?

14. Are parents also implicated in the FIR (Yes/No):

14.1. Has the police done an inquiry and have they filed a charge sheet or final report ?

15. Is the 498a Case in court (If yes, how long, month and year):

16. Wife suffering from any disease (IF YES, do you have medical proof):

17. Marriage date (month and year):

18. Her age when she filed 498a (years):

19. Has she taken back all her stuff (stridhan, jewelry):

19.1. Do you have proof of her taking back all her Stridhan Jewellery, gifts etc

19.2. Has she taken away any of your property ?

19.3. In any of the complaints has she claimed that stridhan property is still with you ?

20. Have you filed for divorce ? If so where ? in Family court of Judicial Magistrate court ?

20.1. We generally advice victims NOT to file for DIVORCE. Here is why

Maintenance related :

21. Has your wife claimed maintenance under the Hindu Marriage Act ? i.e. is there ANY CIVIL CASE in a marriage court or magistrate court or high court for divorce or for alimony ?

22. Sometimes women claim INTERIM maintenance. Has she claimed INTERIM maintenance under the Hindu Marriage Act ?

23. If such a case has been filed, Have you started fighting your maintenance case ?

24. Is your wife employed ? if yes do you have proof of the same ?

25. Does your wife have proof of your employment ?

26. In case you are employed abroad, do you have property that your wife may try to attach, should you NOT pay maintenance ?

27. Any other issues that you wish to share with us

————
regards, vinayak

My post above is Subject to
—————————-
1. My idea of *self help* which is very essential : http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz
2. Standard disclaimers as in http://tinyurl.com/947u9
3. A short preamble : http://tinyurl.com/hatew

Dowry Law Misuse : http://tinyurl.com/tdkx6 , http://tinyurl.com/v5vp8

Groups :

http://groups.google.com/group/MatriSuggest
http://groups.google.com/group/SIFsuggest

Blogs :

http://bareact.blogspot.com/2006/12/divorce-why-now.html
http://tinyurl.com/2tb3s7
http://tinyurl.com/2dkub4
http://tinyurl.com/23xppp

http://vinayak.jconserv.net/index.php

http://www.bloglines.com/blog/eVinayak
http://bareact.blogspot.com/
http://my2cw.blogspot.com/
http://o3.indiatimes.com/mera/
http://www.blurty.com/users/vinayak/

Seek advise : All India contact Nos : http://tinyurl.com/vntjz

More on the mediation process …

More on the mediation process …

Dear Brother

>On my date of RCR on ___ / __, opposite party
>started demanding reconcilliation in mediation
>cell although the case was at the stage of
>”petitioners wittnesses”.

This is pure delay tactics and should be pointed out to the judge. Most probably the judge told you that you are being referred to mediation and not know what that meant, you accepted to the process. Well past is past. So now please read further …

>I just want to know, what type of report in
>the end ‘mediation cell’ could give out. Does
>this report reveal who is at fault or some
>other true facts (except those written in the
>petition and reply to petitions)?

Every party going for mediation is entitled to know about the mediation proceess AT OR BEFORE the start of mediation

Advocates are NOT permitted into the Mediation center IF PARTIES object. for e.g. if you object, both advocates have to wait outside. So use that facility IF you are very sure of the law and are more confident than your wife.

At the beginning of the mediation please ask the following questions VERY POLITELY, TO THE MEDIATORS

1. What is the evidenciary value of mediation ? [we know the answer, but still ask]

2. Can the proceedings in mediations, facts that have come out in Mediation be used in the case [we know the answer, but still ask]

3. If at the end of the mediation, if both parties do NOT COME to an agreement [ please note I am NOT saying both parties should start living together…] I am just saying both parties do NOT come to an agreement, what happens ? ask this question as well, though we know the answer

The idea here is to set the scene and clear the ground and make the mediator aware that you are aware thru his statements

Do NOT act like a lawyer. Act like a loving husband, … A dutyfull son, an honest citizen etc etc etc …but do NOT give in to blackmail

Now let me answer your questions
==================================================

ref here for more on mediation process

http://evinayak.rediffiland.com/scripts/xanadu_diary_view.php?postId=1180330765
or
http://tinyurl.com/22245j

Mediation can be one sitting or multiple sittings. Many times it is more than one sitting.

If the mediation failed the mediators are supposed to refer the case back to court !!! that’s all. BUT PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE NOTE AND POST QUESTIONS IF ANY before you jump into a mediation

>If i _indirectly_ say in the mediation cell
>that there are no chances of further
>reconcilliation, will it be negative for my
>case.

again !!!!!! please note MEDIATION IS NOT RECONCILIATION.

COUNSELLING IS AIMED AT RECONCILIATION – i.e. living together blah blah

MEDIATION IS AIMED AT SETTLEMENT. Settlement may be that both of you break away – AS WELL !!!!. This is a subtle difference NOT told to you even by many lawyers.

In addition to above : Some important thing(s) to remember in mediation

– DO NOT RELEASE all your trump cards. Proceedings in mediation are NOT of evidentiary value later. So do NOT release your trump cards.

– Observe the opponent

– Take time to expose the oppponents lies

– for e.g. a cruel wife, a wife who tried suicide and tried to frame the hubby, may come to mediation and fall at the hubby’s feet and seek marital life from that date. Politely remind the mediators the terror you went thru when she gave you the suicide threats…

– seek proof where necessary. For e.g. if wife says you are earining a million, seek proof

– when wife counters stating “..what are you earning then ..” , counter her politely that you are NOT ready to discuss that as she is NO longer living with you as a LOVING wife…but she is an opponent in a legal case !!

– YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT / AGREE TO A SETTLEMENT in one go. Do NOT do that mistake. As an NRI I was hoodwinked on that aspect

and so on ……

>I just want to know, what type of report in
>the end ‘mediation cell’ could give out.

[…….]
>My lawyer says there is nothing to worry here
>just pass time, the final report of the
>mediation cell will be either “Mediation
>successfull” or “Mediation Failed”.

That is right (mostly I’d say),

An addendum : If mediation succeeded, terms of compromise may also be drafted and signed between parties

>case. My oppsite party is behaving very polite
>and humble in mediation cell and demanding that
>other members of my family should also be
>called in the mediation cell.

as long as other members of your family are NOT parties to your case they need not attend mediation

More parties, more the mess. Try and limit the crowd. Do NOT make it a Saas Bahu (MIL / DIL ) TV serial.

Read ….read… read… the archives here and blogs. Arm yourself with legal points and approach the case with great mental strength

regards, vinayak

My post above is Subject to
—————————-
1. My idea of *self help* which is very essential : http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz
2. Standard disclaimers as in http://tinyurl.com/947u9
3. A short preamble : http://tinyurl.com/hatew

>
>Hello Everybody,
>
>On my date of RCR on ___ / __, opposite party
>started demanding reconcilliation in mediation
>cell although the case was at the stage of
>”petitioners wittnesses”.
>
>After initial talks with me & her the judge
>refferred our case to mediation cell on 28th
>may and the judge at the mediation center tried
>to reconcile.
>
>I just want to know, what type of report in
>the end ‘mediation cell’ could give out. Does
>this report reveal who is at fault or some
>other true facts (except those written in the
>petition and reply to petitions)?
>
>My lawyer says there is nothing to worry here
>just pass time, the final report of the
>mediation cell will be either “Mediation
>successfull” or “Mediation Failed”.
>
>If i _indirectly_ say in the mediation cell
>that there are no chances of further
>reconcilliation, will it be negative for my
>case. My oppsite party is behaving very polite
>and humble in mediation cell and demanding that
>other members of my family should also be
>called in the mediation cell.
>
>Anybody having experience of mediation cell
>please give ur inputs. People having experience
>at mediation center at Delhi please give
>me ur contact numbers, i would just like to
>discuss my case with u.
>
>
>Harassed hubby